The Bible: The Alignment Chart
The internet's obsession with D&D alignment charts has reached its logical conclusion: I've made one for the Bible. Because if there's one text that covers the full spectrum from Lawful Good to Chaotic Evil, it's the foundational document of Western civilization.
This is, I should note, meant entirely in good fun. I grew up with these stories, I find them fascinating as literature and mythology, and I think the characters in the Bible are some of the most complex and contradictory figures in all of storytelling. Which makes them perfect for an alignment chart.
Lawful Good: Moses. The quintessential lawful good character — receives the literal law from God, dedicates his life to following it, leads his people through the wilderness out of pure duty. Sometimes gets frustrated and smashes things, but always comes back to the rules.
Neutral Good: Ruth. Follows no particular code except basic human decency. Stays with her mother-in-law out of love, works hard, does the right thing without needing a commandment to tell her to.
Chaotic Good: Samson. Wants to do right but cannot for the life of him follow rules. Breaks every vow he makes, acts on impulse, and somehow still ends up serving the greater good through sheer force of chaotic energy.
Lawful Neutral: Solomon. Obsessed with order, structure, and the correct application of rules. Will literally suggest cutting a baby in half to determine proper legal custody. The system is the system.
True Neutral: Ecclesiastes. "Everything is meaningless." The ultimate neutral statement. Not good, not evil, not lawful, not chaotic. Just... tired.
Chaotic Neutral: Jacob. A trickster who does whatever serves his interests in the moment. Steals his brother's birthright, tricks his father, wrestles with an angel. Not evil, exactly, but absolutely ungovernable.
I'll leave the evil alignments as an exercise for the reader, because I'm not sure the internet is ready for my take on which biblical figure is Chaotic Evil. But you're thinking the same person I am.